That driftless road to love
by morkofka
Summary: There might have never been any magic in this world... but one called love, in mystic ways weaving its fairy net.
1. Chapter 1 Bubble

Confused, sitting at the edge of the bed, his heart and mind coldly excruciated, he starts to think how much easier it was when buried under layers of dirt, could cleared off worries, shed the weight of the world and patterns on the threshold of impending death. He stares back again at the shut door of the bathroom and dares to speculate what if Leroy came late… late enough they could have made it to the terminal releasing sigh of literally suffocating desire they yielded to, but not too late before the last breath of air fatally wasting.

For the matter, he doesn't feel embarrassed with Leroy who found them half naked indulged in lust, and talks about their 'dissolute' sheriff likely to spread around the town is his least concern. But with the rescue, awkwardly untimely interrupted their primeval striving for life, they were completely unhoped-for brought back to deal with reality, which now seems like misses sense and dims swift. Twenty four hours since then and he's still disoriented, whether all that in fact is just an illusion, dull and pointless, as the death could have dug its teeth and claws, feasting at the moment over a waning spirit.

This is how it feels… when she slips out of his arms or away from sight… The latter scares him the most, that she may not reappear, but what her presence, in turn, ignites in him conceived as too improper for the entity. Either way, if he won't define his stand and take actions, it threatens to dement him and he'll lose her anyway...

He's about to call her name again, when she suddenly opens the door, looking drastic, so she wants her words to be.

"Stop it!" voice strong but shaking with emotions. "Stop coming under a lame pretext of your job and duty, because… I guess, it's quite boring here and the sheriff can always happen along to inform me personally on any change of a wind, but stop it! Because… you do that and then we kiss… and then you withdraw with that your fucking 'I-am-a-gentleman'! Again?!"

She's fairy aware she behaves like on old virgin on her period, but he's the one responsible for her regress to unbalance and lust. It's not about this mean game of 'seducing and rejecting' he tries on her, not about sex.

If she was there alone to die in a steel cage buried under a mudflow, well, it'd be desperately sad. Point.

If, after hours of awaiting a tricky death meanwhile reconsidering her life, she was saved and survived, well, she'd be lucky. Point.

But no, he preferred to interfere in her 'messy' fate, following behind her the way out of the town. The town where barely something happens and the sheriff is only person representing law enforcement body, but her car was stolen at day light first hour she was there. She definitely got him work to do, and grated on his nerves, and depreciated, but 'join me in death' farewell party invitation was too much.

Originally she even didn't care to understand why he infused her with those emotions, but like if she felt he has some magic weapon to destroy her bubble. Bubble of peace and solitude, quite pliant for day-by-day people, acquaintances and friends, and yet always remaining fixed and sufficient for years. Until unfamiliar longing for something unexplored became a bother deliberately spoiling her careless fancy-free living.

And so she ventured or, perhaps, rather did stupid, when she dropped everything, jumped into the car and headed in whatever direction out of her native city. In particular, when, as if she never watched road horror movies, she took an odd traveller to drive him to unheard Storybrooke which, at its mildest, even has no street map in Google and, going to extremes, wanted to bury her under its soil alive.

Ok, let it be it has something against newcomers, but what about its sheriff? He's pure as the driven snow, and all her carpings, mockery and caprices, she barely used to play on anyone even without malice, were clearly so unjustified. She knew that. And caged by mother Nature together, as he flashed to check on her when a prevenient rockfall almost pushed her off the wet road, she had nothing else to do but confide.

All following events in their misfortune were their own will, aware or instinctive, even if deceived with an image of soon pity end. But she chose to trust and surrender, she opened up and consequently let him in, forwarding those fundamental bases of her bubble crack as ice. And the real thing, God, the thing is that she loved it. Loved him there in her bubble, them revelling on ruins of overestimated and overworn concepts of peace and solitude.

That is what makes her restless presently - the longing she learned the meaning and reason of and pinching doubt she can feed it. Since this is more than physical appeal and want, but he is just a passenger to pick up on this driftless road and then drop off. She can't have him, can't keep him, can't squeeze him into her bubble, where now she's prostrate on the wrecks, and take with her...

"You leave immediately. And never 'till I'm here you get around me, because I don't need it." It could pass for the verity due to the determined tone of hers, but after a pause she goes on less steadily. "Because it makes me mad…" In very deed, this agony disarmed her of her taunt, and emotions have to find another way out. Thus, she is torn between punching him, or grabbing and kissing him to shut up that damn absurd gentleman in him, or merely running away not to see him, because... "It hurts," her voice eventually fades in frightening truth of it, while they stare at each other, affected.

Ok, that is it. Could be too dramatic, but certainly crucial.

When he gets up obeyingly, she swallows hard, closes her eyes and tries to breathe deep and calm with her heartbeat, though, overleaping the sound of his feet, receding, until it gets silent and she hears a click.

"You realize", followed by her puzzled gaze he turns back to her from the door just locked. "…that you break all my principles since the moment you crossed the town border at overspeed and made me reduce a fine to a kind warning?" He speaks softly and alluring with that his warm grain of tease, while approaching her intolerably slowly, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the bed. "Unfortunately, I can't arrest you for violating my morals, what, though, would definitely solve the problem with you staying here and would gratify my days at the station," his hand loosens his tie and, as he reaches her, falls tenderly on her cheek, the other one pulls her close by the waist.

"What I've said then… that you're the most delightful company to die in… that you're the one worth dying for… but should be the one to life for... I do feel that. I acknowledge that now in my senses and affirm once again. I wish you be the one I live for…" shockingly sincere and serious it sounds this time, the sweet confession which instigated their first kiss and engrossing sequence during their recent confinement. "And I want to make love to you," he breathes out pressing his forehead lightly against hers. "I do hope your discontent with me stops here and for good," his stare so intense now with much more in his eyes, she's aware, to keep ravishing her soul piece by piece, but she's yet able to show some fight.

"If you'll be just hoping, wanting, but not doing, then no."

"Deal," he comes fast cutting off further argument and dashing to invade her mouth with his.

That is it. He has a firm intention to make this night long and fulfilled... so her staying here in Storybrooke.


	2. Chapter 2 Welcome

"Did I park wrong?" she asked insecure with a suspicious glance at the man leaning against her car. If not a police vehicle near she'd never guess and would just kick this impudent ass away. But frankly, it's his informal and too vivid appeal for a cop, not that uniformed she used to and never liked, what bewildered her.

"No," he answered simply while examining her the same cautiously. "So you did knock someone down?"

"What?! I... no... why?" she got speechlessly amazed with a false accusation of his. _What a warm welcome!_

"You exceeded the speed limit, miss," he enlightened calmly, his look, though, archly inquiring, stirred something inside her.

"And what? I mean... Did I?"

"You did," he grinned slowly. "I wasn't able to catch up with you, but gladly in our small town all new is detected very fast. So, seeing you here at the hospital made me think..."

"I drive without incidents," she cut him off abruptly before he could incriminate her again. "I gave a lift to a guy who hurried to a hospital to a friend, what's not my fault. And assure you, not a single deer, raccoon or citizen on the way was harmed."

Her praiseful dash defensive speach, though, seemed didn't impress him much. With that as if innocent curiosity he wondered the fellow's name, she could swear, only trying to catch her in a lie.

"Mr. Gold he called himself."

"Aw, I see. So he's back."

"Apparently..."

"And how is that your directions aligned? You've been just going through our town occasionally or came to visit someone?"

"Oh, come on! Is it an official interrogation?" she boiled over. "Arrest me? No? Then I'm fine with a fine and we're saying goodbye."

"You rhyme," he approved, grinning broadly. "Ok then, miss. For your talents and... not to pass for an inhospitable sheriff," he stepped aside, showing he held her no longer. "Just an oral warning."

No humility, though, or appreciation, the best she could do was getting into her car with silent triumph on her face, while an itch of provoking him with sarcasm in return was strong enough, but she managed to restrain it.

"If you're hungry, there's Granny's diner..." her glare through the window made him stumble. "I'm not asking you out, just recommend the place," amusingly astonished with himself for a moment of saying that but he tried to keep the face 'till the end and only exhaled watching her driving away.

"Are you kidding me?" she mumbled, rolling her eyes, as she led the car back on the streets of unknown town.

_A __sheriff like that, like he?! _More irritated and accepting it as a hoax she became, 'till a beep of a car behind, as she stuck at the lights, drew her out of her thoughts. Damn, she had no clue where she was going. _What diner he talked about?_

It took her time to figure out Internet knew barely something about this tiny Storybrooke. While she had good sense of direction in New-York without signs, but here she needed at least a paper map. Luckily, the first shop she noticed had one and something to bite, even though with her dislike for mechanically produced 'packed food', before she could find a proper place to feed her hunger. But once she paid off and out, she beheld her beautiful steel horse waggly running away down the street.

* * *

Her feet softly echoed as she walked along cold walls of the station, her heart filled with anxiety and that wasn't about her loss she had to helplessly witness. So alien quiet and empty room, unpleasantly mirroring the inmost recesses of her soul, when this state was rather idyllic and cherished back among the crowd and the noise of her city, but here it made her feel differently.

Some motion behind the blinds, hiding an office, drew her attention.

"To what do I own the honour?" his, not to say, enthusiasm seemed too obvious for both and the walls. "None the less you decided to turn yourself in to the police?"

"What the hell wrong with you? I've done nothing!" _It can't be really him and again with that nonsense. _Vexed and defending, unsure though, discontented or yet on the contrary he made her furore with emotions.

"That was a joke," voice warm and apologetic as he stood from the table, with leisured grace heading toward her standing in the doorframe. "So can I help?"

_God damn. _Eyes sparkling, openly staring into hers, without a hidden agenda, but pure concern.

"I hope..."

* * *

"You watch to the right, I to the left," he instructed while driving.

It's not that she'd prefer to sit and wait, but taking her to keep him company during the search, as if a matter of course, was weird.

"Right is there," he pointed to her side. "Or is there something you want to tell me?"

For a reason, the last thing she was thinking about was her car. Studying his profile, she yet couldn't believe he's not fooling her, that he's not an actor or something and all that for real.

"How long you've been a sheriff? I wonder, because... you're been so unbearable with your humour that scared away all your people? Why we report to none, call for no reinforcement? You patrol yourself, alone. The station looks abandoned... um, what else? Do you even have a gun?"

He smirked while receiving that flow of questions. _No, he can't be true._

"That's a quiet town..."  
"I've noticed, yes." she interrupted straight ahead. "No criminal at all. My car just decided it needed a ride on its own."

"Maybe you scared it away with..." a wry smile froze on his lips as he deliberately didn't finish the sentence.

"Watch the road... and to the left," she reminded, grumbling. "It'll be a miracle if we find it."

* * *

Few hours of vane circling since that, completely damped spirits, almost lost hope and carried out meal at his charge what she turned as a sign of his own remorse and pity for her, contemporary. No, she'd never been a man-hater or a feminist. Neither the things above were the cause, but his nature instigated her, his mimics and reactions amusing to behold. Though, in fact, that was rather a trick against his appeal casually affecting her, nevertheless failing at it.

And only when the sun declined to horizon they spotted the car at the lane between buildings with a group of teenagers surrounding it, at the sight of police scattering in every direction.

"Told you it were just kids," he walked around examining the vehicle condition.

"And what, you'll go to their parents and ask to stand them in a corner?" no relief following the finding, but as if she merely now, seeing it again, realized her property had been stolen. "Who knows what they were doing here!" Definitely delving in her stuff, what would be the most inoffensive, _but goddamn. _It's like eating your porridge, sitting in your chair, sleeping in your bed, thus harshly abusing your privacy and so she was truly fierce as a bear.

"Everything all right inside?" he enquired, worried with her never cheering up, to what she negatively roared and wearily dropped her head on the wheel. "You can come tomorrow. We'll do all formal," sounding rather apologetic, he wouldn't dare to call it sympathy not to trigger her indignation further.

"Enough. I just want to go home."

Most probably, her purposeless trip with going through this odd town was to make her understand there's nothing better than home and she needed nothing else. She simply acted out of boredom and good she realized that when it's not too far across the country or ocean.

"It's a long road to New-York and you're tired..."

"How observant, sheriff!" she darted an evil look at him, but he remained deaf to her spite.

"You better stay the night. I can show you the way to Granny's inn."

"No, thanks," she pushed him away and shut the door, starting the engine. "Go back to your principal duties... for one, flick the dust away the files, stock up on doughnuts, entertain yourself playing a cool cop in front of the mirror. I'm not going to disturb and load you with ever more intricate tasks. And don't worry, I have a map which will serve me better than you. So good night, sheriff. And adios."

_Ewww, what a bitch!_ The shame punched her in the chest in an instant, but there's no turning back. With every unhurried whirl of the wheels it gnawed wilder inside, while a hope to see the police car tagging behind faded. Perhaps, it'd be better never to face him again, because she won't be able to apologize even with the whole acknowledgement of how wrong she was. Something restrained her, confused her and made her so miserable with that spite breaking loose from the wretched undiscovered nook of her soul.

It started to drizzle when already in the dusk she halted the car at the inn. The same gloomy and soupy she felt. Might be the influence of this town, but utterly and completely her fault. Well, tomorrow she'll be able to distance from all that, physically, and then _home, sweet home._


	3. Chapter 3 Sunshine

"Don't you need to be at work already?" she leisurely purring lounging in his arms. A blissful smile doesn't leave her lips, only when covered with his.

"A newsman is one important guy. I could quit for a month and noone would miss me. You were right, I'm useless." Indeed, he'd be a bad actor. She'd never buy this complaint in needlessness to excite pity or whatever. Neither before, even when she thought he couldn't be a real sheriff, nor, in particular, after this night, now simply enjoying the feel of his bare skin against hers and wanting it to last.

"Those are not my words, though I being unbearable, harsh, exaggerative and understating. But you're... I swear, the most precious sightseeing of Storybrooke. Don't laugh!" she could never resist that hearty sunny grin of his, originally confusing her, but nevertheless always capturing her attention. "And it means, I can kidnap you any time?"

"I won't lay charges, if so..."

"Oh really?! That's something new!" It could become their daily never outworn tease, while snuggling closer to his body she naughtily wonders, "And no charges in sexual harassment?"

He smirks flipping them over on her back, "It's not a harassment if mutual," and tenderly occupies her mouth with his.

But some inappropriate thought already emerges in her head and when he moves down her neck, breathlessly, she dares to voice it. "If two are grown-up people... Something tells me I'm actually not the only one you're so indulgent to." As he looks questioningly at her, she clarifies in the same calm neutral tone, "Like yesterday at the diner."

"What? I told you, that's different. That's past."

She believes him, but he's too naive. "I'm saying this not out of jealousy, Graham, but observance - she still has a fancy for you."

"No... Maybe... That doesn't matter! Because I am taken with you..." it gives her creeps as he drawls and softly emphasises each word in last sentence. "And even if you haven't come my way, that... What you mean indulgent?" he's tardily amazed.

"That you let her flock around you, sustaining her hopes and illusions... Well, I can't blame her for still being not over you," she smiles, smitten, while brushing her fingers through his hair. "But ain't hot waitresses sticking to the sheriff to discredit his reputation?"

"There's just one and... Come on!" resentment, though, is fast replaced with slyness. "You are rather to discredit me... But I don't grouse. Quite the opposite..." Feeling the tension instantly flashing and reflecting in his eyes, she has to bite her lip as, without any psychic powers, she foretastes the following. "So let's better be back to that... to utter indecency," he smirks roguishly.

* * *

She still can't erase a beaming smile, while they're exchanging those and looks, convicting them both. And even though it makes her embarrassed when outside, but she doesn't care much, because all those people are nobody to her, and he... he has a right to personal life as everyone else.

She has, nonetheless, to inhibit a desire to hold him by the hand, to cling close, since she's long ago not a teenager and he is an official figure, with just one night to spend together. But damn, the emotions radiate through her and he's not helping to bound them at all.

"Good morning!" a brunette with appearance beyond flossy for this place greets them kindly. "How are you today?"

"Personally me - great!" she answers. No lying but, perhaps, too gutty at the view of that vamp-like girl Ruby he's once been with. And yes, perhaps, she a little bent the truth about not being jealous.

"So nice to hear that!" Graham expresses a genuinely 'unsuspected' approval, while she's desperately sweeping away images of him and his ex together, and so she gets to hurry with the order.

As the waitress's gone and she is to confront him again, his pure alluring spirit animating and enroughing every inch of her soul, that makes her talk up, "I was so... dying to say it's fully your merit... that I... am overwhelmed... with sunshine." It's meant to be a praiseful tease for him, but turns rather a bothering truth for her, since winged and besotted, she fears to fall. Thus, covering it with a fun, "But I decided to be a good girl. And, furthermore, don't want my food to be spoiled or poisoned."

"She wouldn't dare... But I'm glad there's finally something I'm good at," he responds, ruminating, eyes still on hers. No wonder this pure, amiable, gentleman in a heart appears to have some fascinatingly dark side.

"Oh yes..." she's grinning like a Cheshire cat and flaming up, dwelling upon the hurricane of emotions he has caused hers repeatedly for the last twelve hours.

* * *

Later they check if the station is yet on its place, whether ghosts didn't decide to riot a little. That's not her call to tack on him, however, she surely doesn't mind. This town, she's stuck in 'till her car is cleaned and fixed, provides not many gaieties. In fact, his company is the most entertaining and delightful pastime despite the boredom of his job. And definitely with her near it's already not that monotone.

With exes out of sight, no denying and resisting his impact on her, there's no need for any bitterness and opposition. Bathing in genial thrill and teasing, so comfortable with each other as if no exhausting challenging for three days they hardly knew one another. She even doesn't dare to doubt the realness of all happening... or forget... or simply doesn't care if it's just a dream. All good until it's not a nightmare.

But when, after surfing yet strange streets, she notices they take a ply out of the town, that awakens dismay in her heart.

"Where are we going?" she wonders while the cheer leaving her speedily.

"To see if the road is fine, no any accidents, engineered by a human or nature," he casts a brief warm look at her, though, staying unconscious of her concern.

With the trees floating behind the window as she stares blankly outside, gloomy memories come to raven her, flashing back. When looking at their might-have-been grave as they climbed out. When dizzy and blinded yet scrambling through the wall of mud. When the first minutes of dark realization being trapped. When during those dreadful seconds of smashing by a flow...

She almost jumps from her seat scared by a motion and the sound of a passed by car, he can't but descry that even if she doesn't grip on his thigh.

"Can we... go back already? You saw that car driving from there all right. Can we not go?" a plea read both in her eyes and voice, he can't ignore, so he pulls over to the shoulder.

"Are you scared?" his concern is mixed with surprise as she answers positively not going to deny it.

"I could fancy that... was... let it be forced, but some cosy refuge. And it worked only thanks to you, Graham. And there were a lot of great true moment... But I wouldn't want to go through that again... Of course, they say lightning never strikes the same place twice and yet... It made me pretty phobiac, I guess."

He listens carefully holding her hand while she stares back in his eyes and realizes there's nothing longer bounding her. He's the one she really wants and does lay bare her heart to. It might be too reckless falling so fast. But as if she could do anything with that? Her tries only provoked powers to take extreme measures. Well then, ultimately she surrenders, with caution but willingly and with genuine pleasure.

"There's something..." she, though, keeps him from following her ask directly, "...I need else." Neglecting strict formality of his job, they can use a moment away from curious eyes, as she leans crawling from her seat to saddle him up. In fact, she demands a little more than his understanding, something more real and physical to allay her imaginary fears. "Ain't that too much debauching the sheriff in the police car?" she smirks while kissing him.

"Aw, you've already got me corrupted, so no, not a big deal," a teasing truth announced giving green light for a moment of misbehaviour, rather up to infinity.

Hours later, with the first day over she as the 'deputy' sheriff, they can continue back in the hotel room, discrediting his reputation as he's staying the second night with this strange sassy out-of-towner. How many more nights do they have? How much more than that they can have? Whether they can? Can she settle here? How about New-York? So many thoughts interrupting each other while attacking her in bad time, as ridden by desire and under his caress she certainly knows only one thing - she needs him with her...


	4. Chapter 4 Caged

Whether that the soothing effect of the rain or its noise reflecting the buzz of the city, but she slept so well. There were vague memories of a dream with a chase and that rustic sheriff, odd desert streets of this town and busy ones of New-York. The last is what she missed and hopefully was getting off for right after breakfast, leaving all remorse here. "Out of sight, out of mind," she mumbled looking through the window, the view of her car was the only warming image against today's moist and changeless dullness of this place.

While brushing up, though, her conscience also awoken intruded explanatory debate with her temper. She could try and find guts to apologize. _Might be._ If facing him again, she had to make herself do that. _Damn._ Otherwise the guilt will eat her up as, for sure, she was a pain in the ass, unjustified. _Hell yes._ And so no, the scruples won't let her live in so cherished peace of mind. _Crap._

Uptight queerly too much she entered the diner, to her relief seeing no man she owned her good manners. But what if they won't cross paths anymore, she deliberated later over a plate with meal. One part of her rejoiced, though lamely, as the other grieved patently. _God, why is that his persona made her so factious inside? _And while those thoughts agitated her gall afresh she heard someone greeting the sheriff. _Shit._

He sat himself at the counter, aware of her presence, too. But breakfast seemed to be his least interest, as he cast frequent looks at her while casually chatting with a waitress. Shortly, irritation amplifying inside under his gaze left no place for mercy she almost induced herself to grant to him. _Now not going to happen. _So anyhow done with food she briefly schemed her shameful escape which, however, was abruptly inhibited with his turn-up in front of her table.

"Good to see you wisely decided to stay over. It showered heavily all night, you could have been caught in the rain," yet showing amity and thought, nevertheless, he got nothing but cold look and silence in response. "Sorry, didn't want to meddle."

"Oh, really?" she folded her arms but spite already breaking through, or was it rather not to let his appeal affect her. "That's why you have NOT been staring. You know that eating in public doesn't mean one likes being watched."

"I..." he fumbled as acknowledging her right made him awkward. "I didn't want to bother but just a chance to tell you to drive safe." There's not even a wily reproach or something. _Damn his purity. _There's sincere worry with light confusion and quiet grace. _God, she hated herself. _And so she got up only coolly throwing 'I will', which was ultimately followed by a miserable runaway_. Coward.  
_

Keeping her word, though, slow and careful on the road she was bashing herself for her incivility. _How and why he evoked the worst in her, paradoxically being genuinely the most likable man she'd met? _With the town left behind, but yet in its borders, she glanced glumly at the back window, _holly cripes_, to her amazement spotting the sheriff's car pacing at the distance.

A flash of glee was shifted by annoyance, then provocation. _Why was he doing that? Out of care, out of distrust, or just out of his duty? What if she disobeyed and went over a speed limit? He'd chase her, stop her, she started dispute. Why did it excite her so? _

Thrilled and distracted, nonetheless, she was able under the wire to turn the wheel as stones suddenly tumbling on the road in front of her. The car squeaky spun on wet pavement before it finally halted close to the side with the gill stretching down into the deep lonely woods.

"Are you okay?" his alarmed but soft voice snapped her out of stupor as he appeared near, but she remained speechless only gazing at him.

Something told her if she opened her mouth, those would be sassy remarks again, but she didn't want that. For a weird reason at the moment she was unutterable thankful to him for being here, for being what he is. And she hoped he could read it in her eyes, because _damn her demons_, they won't let her say that loud. But those were merely seconds of her mute appeal to him when a strange noise diverted him and next he pushed himself into her car before mercilessly they were swept off the road by a mudflow.

* * *

The darkness welcomed them with a slow shuffle of the soil while they rested in a steel coffin, upside-down but steady. Time for total panic, but then she heard him tossing and cursing. The latter unusual and fun and might be not very appropriate for the honorable sheriff, what she gladly informed him about, without malice but teasing. She even fancied his smile as he chuckled at her comment.

Too bright frame of mind for buried alive. But what's the use in crying? No need to be a foreteller to say it's a trap, most probably dead one with no call for help from underground. But they were yet breathing and, moreover, uninjured, so let sense of humor die the last.

A minute later she could see his fine features and rumpled curls as he turned on the light on the ceiling where they made themselves comfortable how the small space allowed. While he looked around trying to find a gleam of hope for salvation she calmly watched him. _No running, no denying._ She finally grasped it why been rioting in his presence - pulling pigtails, what she never understood but happened to behave exactly like that. _And how did she get that way?_ So wrong circumstances now for this feeling to whet with the casual touching when unfastening the seat belt he held her for her not to fall breaking her neck, and this intimate unescapable closeness. One good thing, though, that it appeased her spite once she accepted the fact he somehow already managed to sink into her heart.

"I only bring you troubles," she exhaled. Quite a fair start for apologizing, even though, he apparently considered it an overstatement.

"Never mind. Troubles are my job," he spoke casually while keeping examining their cage, but her laugh right off stole his attention back.

"That's so trite, sheriff," a warm grin of hers, as she looked at him closely, made disturbance and wonder on his face slowly melt into a smile.

"Graham. I'm Graham."

_He had a name. Lovely. _

This magic smiley eyeing silence, as he had to drop tries to break through steel and dirt, repeated between short, but sweet chat sessions. Distancing themselves, what came amazingly easy, from all previous and present with the horridness of the event, as if simply lying in a shelter and having heart-to-heart talk, they felt so cosy.

"What changed?" over time he dared to wonder, but got her puzzled with the question, so he had to explicate, "I thought... there was some sort of antagonism... from your side."

"Crap," she rolled on her back staring upward, imagining there's a starlit sky above but not tons of soil. "Antagonism, ha? Well, I know I was... a bitch."

A shrill protest he showed so firm, interrupting and ignoring other uncomplimentary words she used for herself, set her laughing again. "No! You've been just naughty and a little bit grumpy. I know a guy who is full of grumbles, I'd gladly arrest him only for that, but then he'd do my being at the station really unbearable... But you are not. Forgiven and forgotten."

"Why you're so favorable to me, sheriff?" She still addressed to him officially, even though now she knew his name, but saying it would be the same intimate as touching what better not to do, since a risk of liking that was too high and out of place. _But will they get another chance?_

He took a moment to muse before answering with a grain of joy and totally true, "'Cause you're much more pretty than Leroy, that guy."

And his eyes were much more alluring but she forced herself to turn away to her fancied sky. She chose to accept it as a fun, that he meant nothing serious beyond, meanwhile figuring out what to say to defuse awkward tension.

But soon, insensibly they spoke freely again about nothing and everything, though with time passing their talking painted grey and sadder. _Will there be anyone crying bitter tears over their graves? Unlikely_. As well they both agreed there's barely something and anybody in this life to sorely miss in whatever world they'll go.

More rapid hush was disturbed by another desperate question, "Will we just fall asleep or be tormented from the lack of air, by kinky illusions? How long, how much...?"

"Don't think of that," he cut her short, his hand soothingly reached to hers as she looked mournfully away. "Don't lose hope." But she stayed deaf to his words while the warm feel of him made her eyes wet, so she had to hide them and yet required to ask.

"Why you needed that? Why you followed me?... You could have been safe, have avoided that..."

He sighed heavily, then gently squeezed and rubbed her hand, "I don't regret anything."

A moment of hesitation and she glared at him indignantly, "Idiot!" She wasn't able to hold back emotions with sorrow, anger and incomprehension overwhelming. _How could he prefer to end up this way? Because of silly her! _

But he seemed like reading her mind, wiped a tear from her cheek and spoke caressingly, "I do not regret. You are the most delightful company to die in. No doubt... And precising, you are the one worth dying for… But you should be the one to life for... I wish to know how that is, sharing one life..."

"We're only sharing one death," she interrupted him, tears flowing unstrained.

"All better with you... I'm just sorry there nothing I can do now."

He fondled her face but she yet in the negative slightly shook her head, and while staring silently, mutually they were enticed to lean to each other, froze an inch away for reassurance and then joined their lips, tenderly. An electric wave of thrill went through her body, she gasped and griped on him as he pulled her closer bracing the kiss. Caring and slow, it took all dread and grieving away, relaxing into overall pleasure.

But once he tried to lay her on her back she resisted softly, "No. Too much pressing," pushing him so she was atop. Indeed, too many things and emotions hailing on her out of the blue and running rampant, she needed something to control not to lose herself completely. Luckily, he didn't mind, and they could continue heating it up by degrees, inevitably and recklessly carried away by passion.

"Should we stop?" she asked pulling his tie to take it off, wanting more of his skin. Not to say it became really hot, even stuffy, but they chose to dismiss the probable reason of that.

With his consent not to leave off, kept sipping kisses from his lips she began unhurriedly unbuttoning his clothes while his hands sneaked under hers, hungrily. Not a single foreign thought in mind, but desire liberating and dominating. Blushingly enjoying his flesh to hers as they both soon appeared topless, the last piece remained was her bra, her hand drifted downward his body, obscenely, to make him groan what she delightfully echoed at a feel of him full. Suffocating lust conquered them entirely while grabbing and rubbing, kissing and biting, creeps afresh her spine as he undid her bra and...

"Hey, anyone there?" a strange subdued voice calling from nowhere made them stuck mazed until they remembered to respond, but still not moving and scarcely breathing. In an instant a beam of light uncomfortably raid into their refuge through the window with a bearded face in a fright hiding again. "God damn, sheriff! I didn't see anything!" the guy avouched before they realised what an inappropriate scene it unfolded. "I'll bring a shovel."

Turned up, they were half buried, the car wheels with its belly markedly showed on the surface. While Leroy was digging, awkwardness leaking in with oxygen, they had time to fix themselves, dumbly. The same quiet they drove back to the town in sheriff's car found intact on the road, settled her in the inn again and he walked upstairs with her to tent to a wound on her palm she got when climbing to freedom.

"So…" all she could force and hushed up, while his touching of her hand and his gaze caused her heart to leap but she feared it's longer unrequited. That unplanned rescue, in fact, did bring discomfiture, no ease or joy.

"I'm not taking back anything I've said," he humbly pledged finishing patching her up.

"And what about what you did… what we were doing there?" Tremor building inside her and treacherously spreading with no answer coming from him, they only stared at each other. "I see," she flipped out but he stood up with her not releasing her hand and pulling her to him.

Their flame didn't vanish, it sparked anew once he intruded a kiss, yearning one, both wished to linger but then he parted from her, flurried, "I have to return to work. I'll call on later." And thus, rushing away he left her confused and pining. _What the hell?!_


	5. Chapter 5 Revelation

In New-York, a large buzzing anthill, it seems not a problem to meet someone, but she never was lucky enough. There's usually haughty type saying "you're not good enough for me" or perky and clingy "I know you want me" one. The third type inviting attention and looking worthy naturally appears to be gay.

But here she is, drove pointlessly hundreds of miles to find herself in bed with him second night in a row, now watching him still asleep in the morning light. True, how fast one gets used to good things. Especially when it feels so right, peerless and homelike. And still there's a mournful concern disturbing her heaven. _What is she to do? Do they have future?_

She wouldn't want him to resign and leave his home, that's out of question. Besides, New-York will eagerly consume and spoil a precious rarity like him. She'd never let that happen. But if he asks, _could she stay here and put down new roots?_

It's possibly absurd to think of that now but it gives her no rest since first night together. A hook-up short or longer is not her style, in today's twisted world, though, even falling under its influence, but she cherishes the idea of something bigger, pure and eternal.

_Can it be she found that_ when not hoping and not searching? She so wants to believe, wants to keep it longingly. But_ how?_

Dashing away a tear she snuggles closer to him, luxury flowing through her body at the touching with his warm bare skin. _He only needs to ask… This reckless lo… Hm… __A__ffection is a better word… She can take a risk. He's worth that._

* * *

Later in the day she pays him a visit at the station as he gets a call with work to do in the morning. But_ what the hell with brunettes invading his private space?_ This time it's older presentable woman, nonetheless making a play for the sheriff. He, though, shows resistance, but most probably as he sees her, and meanwhile awkwardly extricating himself from the foreign gripe.

"What that means?" the woman resents following his direction and only then notices a spectator. "Hi. I don't know you."

"Should have you? I'm just passing through." _Apparently and sadly, that's how it is_. Not a surprise him being so popular among female population of this tiny town, what she can't blame him for, but hardly will be able to deal with every day.

"I'm sorry. Our tourist activity honestly close to zero and any new face is indeed strange but always welcomed. I'm the mayor, by the way, Regina Mills," the brunette sounds kind and friendly, but woman's gaze glows with caution. "Hope nothing serious happened you have to come for our sheriff."

"You're right, nothing serious. I interrupted you, so I'll better go."

"No," he finally speaks in a protest. "Regina leaves. I'm all yours." _God, if only that was true_. _She's not sharing._ And yet he comes and takes her by the hand, leading to his office. "You'll find the way out," that's kind of impolite referred to the mayor before he closes the door and waits looking through the blinds until Miss Mills away.

And_ how fast life can cut you down to size._ Calm and speechless she stands near obediently facing this sudden downfall of her expectations. _Na, she isn't going to bother interrogating him_, she feels too down to hear more of frustrating truth.

"I own you an explanation…" he starts mildly but gets cut off.

"No, Graham, you don't." _That's really waste._

"Please, listen to me," he insists pleadingly squeezing her hands in his. "I don't want understatement or misunderstanding between us again. I don't want anything to give you a reason to be mad at me, even if I deserve it, but I need a chance to handle it. And now it's time because I know how it may seem and I don't want you to look at me the way you do, so I need to explain everything." As she tries to dispute no more he continues, arms come to lightly wrap around her waist for no distance, nothing to stand between them. "Remember I told you about a girl, my best friend, when I was a kid? That's Ruby. Then we grew up and at some point began to date. But it's like we just had to do that, like everyone thought and said we were to be together already. Though I can't say it was a total mistake. We have a history, we keep being friends. But our… adult relationships were just first young experience. It did leave a trace, but there's nothing more than sympathy and years behind that. Of course, I can't speak for Ruby, what she feels, but I don't see her more than a friend."

"I thought there's gonna be a nasty story about harassment by the mayor," she remarks while comprehending after a prolonged pause in his monologue.

"That's for the second half of my revelation," a nervous smirk curves his lips. "Regina and I…" he heavily sighs. "I can't even find a proper word for that… We just met once a week or so. That's merely physical aspect. I feel nothing… Damn, that sounds wrong," embarrassed he shakes his head. "But it's over. I don't want that. I never wanted."

"Did she force you? And what about your morals? Or fucking the mayor is a usual legal thing, not included?"

He gasps at her cool harshness. It's not her business, of course, with who he slept, and none of dirty details but when he told her his life before her was like idle dreaming she for sure couldn't ever think of vassal senseless intercourse. "She never induced me, of course... I'm not trying to whitewash myself, though, getting into that is the most stupid and the worst thing I've done. And I don't know how long I'd spend in that dead bondage if not you bringing me to life…"

"By the same corrupting you?" _How then is she better than that Miss Mayor? And so, is it just brute sex? _She knows it's not, but even acknowledging all of them are mature enough for intimacy considered vital and taking place in whatever form, the reference to that woman and their relationships disgusts her.

"Not the same. It's not the same," he takes her face fondly in his hands with the following is his heartful gutsy begging. "Stay with me. Move to my place. At least …" Alternative is pain, so he closes his eyes and presses his forehead against hers for a moment. "Your car is on-the-go. You could get in right now and drive away back home... or give us a shot. Because… I don't want to let you go at all. But I can't chain you. Can't ask you to depart from your life in New-York… But if after me rejecting Regina she decides to eject me, Big Apple has more job opportunities, I believe."

"No, you won't go. I forbid," emotions come over her, along with '_I won't let him ruin his life 'cause of me_' those eventually right ones '_how silly I was to stumble and be so bitter_'. "Fuck her. Not literally," she warns. If Ruby rather makes her jealous, but that woman straight ahead gets her hatred. "Can she that simply remove you? Democracy rules, we'll agitate people against her if she merely tries."

"We?" his eyes light up while she muses before answering.

"I don't know how it all will turn. I don't know if all goes well how to pull everything with moving and settling here… But we can try… If that's what you want... barely knowing me, barely knowing each other."

"I do… I even say, could be my unwillingness caused the mudflow on the road that day, since I didn't want you to leave already then."

She chuckles and smiles at him with adoration as he holds her tighter, "I guess then we both contributed to that in some mystic way…" No shade of disillusion already, she needs so little to lift in spirits and trust again. She only needs him. And so clinging to him she wonders, "How safe is your office, if locking the doors and shutting the blinds? Because I'd love to keep debauching you shamelessly right here and right now, if you don't mind..."


	6. Chapter 6 Attraction

No wonder irritation returned with the morning came. All thanks to nightmares and, of course, him. He did call on yesterday bringing late dinner with him and news about her car dug up and tugged to repair. And then he did that again – kissed her fondly, and when it grew passionate he stepped back, turning on damn gentleman mood and saying he wanted time and a chance for them to know each other first.

_Come on. _She's here only 'till her car get fixed and it's barely few ways ahead. Why then that was such an itch when she never encouraged one night stand thing? But, _seriously, were those hours under hatches having a heart-to-heart talk not enough? Bullshit. And if… if they did have made it before being interrupted, what silly excuse he invented then? _

"Fuck him!" definitely and unfortunately not literally, as she cursed throwing a pillow which hit the picture on the wall and both dropped on the floor. _Maybe becoming a naughty girl again to have him arrest her? Trying to make his being intolerable the way he did it to her?_ "So miserable," she desperately exhaled.

And thus she chose to sit quiet in her room and almost managed to, 'till a cheeky horny friend on her left shoulder spoke again. _Why should she let someone make her hide?_ _Especially that prude. Screw that and come what may_, as she dressed and out of the inn.

Food at Granny's for sure appeared to be much better than its interior, dull as was the whole town. Negative, though, banished while enjoying her lunch and dreamily thinking when she can be back to New-York, where to go, what to busy herself with. All that looked pretty like a déjà vu of yesterday morning, but this time he dared to sit at her table, unawares and without invitation.

A minute after his insecure silence, though, and her mazement she regained her voice and guts, "And where you left your manners? Do we have a date that you just come and sit? I don't think so. You said it clear last night we don't know each other good enough, so I'm reminding you this familiarity now is improper." Patient with her spite, there's still slight but readable astonishment in his gaze. _What he expected after all?_ "Miss… Ruby," she referred to a waitress coming up beamingly to serve, "Could you, please, find sheriff a place somewhere at the counter maybe or another table."

Humbly apologizing he fulfilled her claim and whatever he wanted remained unexpressed. Furthermore, whether he deserved or not, whether he understood it but this time he was fully responsible for her antagonism towards him. That's her conviction.

Leering at him, nonetheless, occasionally, but she couldn't hate him. _For what?_ Irritated by him, yes, easily. But better doing that right face to face admiring every shift of emotions in his eyes, on his lips, like when in their trial and not peeking at him at a distance.

His attention, meanwhile, divided and half demanded by that waitress, who, _what the hell,_ invading private space brassily put her hand on his thigh. _Of course._ Who could neglect his so natural appeal? But that girl, by the way, apparently catching his fancy, was too familiar with him for just "coffee and burger, please" relationships and not only due to brunette's illegally vulgar appearance against surprisingly good nature.

In very deed, it shouldn't have bothered her since they didn't plight anything, owned nothing to each other. Little of making out shouldn't have been an issue. _Shouldn't have happened at all._

With those thoughts she left the diner and, even if she cared, she didn't hear him calling at first as he hurried after her.

"You crave for my attention now, for real?" a sarcastic wonder was thrown at him. "But so you know, I'm not going to beg or stand in line for yours."

"I don't want you to get me wrong and hate me," he ached to explain after a moment of confusion. "Then in the toils…"

"It was a mistake. Clearly," fast to interrupt him, she sounded firm, though it was sham. With all the frustration he caused her but, _shame on wicked her_, she couldn't say she wouldn't do that again. And yet to his objection and reaching for her she countered sharply. "What language do I speak? Go wooing waitresses or whoever but not me. I'm not interested."

"What? I…" he mumbled bewildered while she still as if waited for what he could find to answer. "Assure you, I'm bad at wooing… whoever. And never practised that… But we all have past and Ruby that's... Well, growing up is the same learning things, acting mindlessly and making mistakes… But this is not. This is different… I just don't know…"

"It's I don't know what you expected to get from me or with me. But I assure you that it won't work anyway," sorrow nipped her at saying that, but she hoped hiding it well with harsh tone. "Face it." _Gosh_, she would so refer it to herself. That is what she needed to do to make peace with herself. And whether he followed or not but he let her go with that fake anger of hers cowardly disguising opposite feelings, a puzzle not only for him.

Hours of roaming and she found herself in the park with the pond and ducks bathing. At least something to distract her and put a smile on her face. For a moment she even felt like back home, only no skyscrapers behind the trees. _What a pity,_ she could sit there longer, that natural quiet not afflicting her, but comforting, and yet it began to grow darker. Going astray, getting into something wasn't a very pleasant prospect, so while she could remember and define the right direction she had to say goodbye to birds until maybe tomorrow.

Shower then dinner once in her room, meanwhile contemplating how not to die from boredom in this hole few more days, she shuddered at the knock at the door. _Who could it be? _Excitement overflowed her as there was only one answer. _Yes_, his majesty, pure and poor, yet gorgeous hesitantly informing about her car might be fixed by the morning after tomorrow.

"Anything else?" she enquired defiantly, though missing to remind him she told him earlier to steer away form her.

"Give me a chance…"

Cursing pretty distinctively she returned to the room but left the door open. Could be a permission, not very willing, but still. With the silence seemed lasting forever she stared through the window away from him while he plucked up his spirits.

"All my life I've taken everything as if in stride, maybe even indifferently… whether good or bad, given or gone… But you… you made me really want things… and be afraid and feel lost… You woke me up… from idle dreaming."

"Ha, lovely," she sneered. "Should I be touched?" If she dared to turn and look at him, what she meaningly didn't do, her heart would get affected unconditionally.

He sighed, but her put-on coldness couldn't bluff him."I myself don't know what to do with that…" After a pause he walked towards her, wrapped his arms lightly around her waist and whispered into her hair, "But I don't want to be back to that senseless existence."

Her body responded with the wave of chill so vivid, hands covered his to lace their fingers. At the touching invading emotions almost choked her, she had to turn around to face him, face the desire, the need. How easily all grievance was gone just at the simple feel of him. It worked much better than peaceful pond with ducks. Aware, though, of how dependant and addicted she already became, but she didn't care at the moment.

A kiss came too slow, but no complains with bliss it brought, she melted into. The only thought in her head was "Please, don't break it." And whether it's her prayer but kissing went on, sweeping diffidence away, burning it in the flame they shared. Enrapt deeply they fell on the bed with temperature jumped too high, making it too hot for his leather jacket still on. God, for any clothes.

"No, wait…" he stopped her from removing his wraps and moved over. "I'm sorry… We shouldn't…"

"What?... Go the fuck away!" pushing him off she sprang from the bed and glared at him but he froze perplexedly. "Fuck you, Graham!" With the bathroom door banged after her she could barely breathe, tears and wrath strangling her. _How the fuck wrong all that was. Uncontrolled. Destructive. _She slid down to the floor, nursed her knees and tried to collect herself. It could be her retreat for the night, so wrecked she felt, while the best soothing she found was repeating the last abusive words to him... and then his name cosily lingering on her tongue.

_Crap. She had to finish it then once and for all. Because nothing would ever work out with them anyway._


	7. Chapter 7 Faith

"Graham Humbert," there's a slight reproach in her voice with wonder. "Why you still home?" He half turns to her smiling intriguingly while she slowly approaches. "Making breakfast?" she observes, "Aw, in only underwear…"

"Should better get an apron?" that playful remark he puts innocently yet echoed by a distorted image in her mind. She gets used to seeing him all packed formal for job or then delightfully naked for her. And still she doesn't know what she likes more. But an apron, particularly upon his nude body, is too low, while he can be everything but not that.

"No, you don't need one," she embraces him lovingly leaning against his back, his smell and the warmth of his skin recalls her to somnolence. "So I dreamt you're here?"

"I took a day off," he says turning away from the stove to cuddle her in his arms. "Or maybe two. How it'll go."

_Eventually_. Almost two months since she stayed, as a mistress of his heart, in his bed and his apartment. No a thing alloying the blissfulness, with miss Mills putting her efforts enchanting a single father also new in Storybrooke since recent. Well, and the rest is past. While now and the future is all what matters.

Weeks after they ventured forth into relationship she, though, had to go back to New-York to settle things up, whether it's burning bridges or just prolonging her unscheduled vacation. That's when he utterly regretted he had no anyone to shortly shift duties to, even knowing something barely would happen while he's away, but he couldn't simply leave the town. Insecurity and bunch of fears caught hold of him, shattering him and sending nightmares when he let her go, alone, only her voice on the phone proved somehow he didn't fancy her. So never again he wants to deal with that driving mad intolerableness of her absence from the reach as he had to those few days.

"Sure David the deputy is ready to meet the challenge?"

"Hm, should I get dressed and check on him?" he asks the same teasingly.

"Hell, no. I want you here. Mine. Twenty four hours. And longer. Much longer." Raising herself on tiptoes as his beaming smile draws her to his lips she kisses his mouth, fervently, mutual and lasting. "So what are we gonna do?" an obvious provoking question follows with an obvious satisfying answer she expects, and yet…

"I suggest we should go and chose us a Christmas tree," her bewilderment amuses him but he's being serious. "And then whatever you want… the rest of the day and all night... misbehaving," he smirks enticingly, there's nothing else needed to be said for her to comply in anticipation.

"Only if a tiny one," she hardly forces herself back to the subject away from indecent thoughts. "There's no place for any bigger."

"We'll figure something out. But I do want a true Christmas with you," he speaks softly she melts and almost misses the sense beyond last sentence.

Apart from whatever he means, but _what is a true Christmas?_ Its holiness gets lost nowadays among the fuss around New Year, bringing nothing really new or good. Or rather those are two nearby holidays with quite similar function, but one for children, one for adults. As she's longer not the former, it has no that sacred importance to her.

It hadn't… since childhood and until now. Chills and hardly controlled eagerness reels inside her each morning waking up beside him with rushing thoughts in her head of a gift for him, exciting of putting up a tree together, heartwarming of the intimate Christmas Eve, not bothering anymore of a mistletoe happening above, hopeful of promising countdown. It'll be so different this year. And she knows what wish, the essential and fondest, to make.

"Haven't you had one before?"

His emotions towards that, though, seem deeper and sore as he sighs, his gaze wanders away but he keeps holding her tight against his body. "I've been watching people excite and rejoice. I felt happy for them, could join the party but never shared that thrill and glee… and faith. I guess that's the problem. I'm not very religious. And this holiday is rather for kids and families, but I've had none."

"You've been one," she interrupts.

"Yep, an orphan, too clever and sad aside from other kids every year looking forward to Christmas, Santa and gifts. It's beautiful, of course, all that decorating and merrymaking, but waste… Sometimes I felt jealous of those having that strong belief, of those who had someone to sustain for them the illusion of holiday and miracle. But then I remembered who I am... Nothing and nobody would ever be able to do and keep it that cheerful way for me. As being mislead by hope and lose it every time is too heartbreaking… since what I wanted is impracticable… So I chose to not ever entertain a hope. Just take what's given, let go what's taken."

"Graham," she appealed to him, eyes full of tears meeting his the same watery.

"But you changed it," he smiles. "And I dare to hope now… and feel, and dream, and strive, and fight… I want a Christmas tree. I never put up one here. I want to make a wish… But I won't be waiting for a miracle. I'll do my best, do everything myself to make it come true."

"You can count on me." How painful to see the hurt she's unable to insure him from as for years it's been storing inside and embedding in his flesh. Yet, inevitably becoming a chronic romantic, she believes _there's nothing love can't heal_. "But I guess we'll have to go to Granny's, because our breakfast…"

"Crap!"

"Burned," she giggles to his swearing, while abruptly deprived of his embrace. "If so, maybe we can get something for David and check..."

"No, he'll manage himself," displeased he throws the spoiled meal in the bin.

"I get it... Then Kamasutra with Christmas tree today?"

Astonished he stares at her, but soon a jolly vicious grin afresh lights up his face, "Exactly, miss... Only you and me underneath and all around our Christmas tree…"


End file.
